Doorways
I promised myself I would post this poem today in memory of Maryn. She passed away on January 25th. I know it’s a little early but it feels like the right time. It seems as if January in the year she died was very much like this one. Cold, cold, cold and so much snow. So much snow it broke the tree in our front yard. Little did I know that was a foreshadowing of my life to come — I was broken beyond repair after losing her. There are times it seems when all hope is lost and I should just give up, but then there is this remaining flicker of hope. It’s the only thing that keeps me here. I believe it is the love of Jesus — somewhere in my heart it knows the truth, that this isn’t the end of my story. I ride the roller coaster on a daily basis. Living in the love of Christ and ready to end it all. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to leave it all behind and head back to my heavenly home. Honestly, if I didn’t know of the hope in Him, I would have left a long time ago.
This is the first draft of the poem Doorways. I haven’t had a chance to edit it since I wrote it. I may come back some day and fix it, but maybe not.
Doorways
I used to feel the eons between us
I don’t so much anymore
I used to feel the ocean of time keeping us apart
I now feel you near
I used to believe that life
Was the enemy and
I longed to shed my body
So my soul could return to you
As I heal I rise higher and higher
And from my view now
I see that life is a gift
That you will always be a part of me
And that I have so much more still to learn
About who I am and who I want to be
Trying not to let my trauma define me
Ever striving to find the light
I know that once my life is no more
That you will be there waiting for me
On the other side of the doorway
-in Memory of Maryn
Thanks for reading.
-The Nomad
